


How To Make Friends: By Michael Mell

by WhenWeNextMeetMyFriends



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Brooke deserved better guys, But Michael can make more, I started this because I wanted Brooke and Michael to be friends, Mentions of how chickens mate, Michael in the Bathroom, Michael is a Little Shit, Michael is trans, Michael makes friends, Other, Panic Attacks, it's weird guys, trans!michael
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-09-06
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-11 05:27:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20540852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhenWeNextMeetMyFriends/pseuds/WhenWeNextMeetMyFriends
Summary: “So what happened?” Brooke whispered, looking away from me.“Honestly, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”“Try me.” Her eyes challenged me, staring directly into my soul. Looking at the blonde, I didn’t see the popular impossible I always had seen. I saw… something else. A spark.“He took a pill that’s actually a supercomputer from Japan that activates with Mountain Dew and makes you cool, but it actually drives people insane.”





	1. Brooke Lohst

_ “Get out of my way.” _

_ “Or you’ll what?” I forced a laugh, squaring my shoulders to seem like a bigger target. I had to keep him here, had to  _ ** _explain to him._ ** _ Unfortunately, Jeremy did the same action but bigger, the glare in his eyes making it a thousand times worse. I forced myself to not shrink back, to not flinch, to not give him the satisfaction of seeing how his posture hurt. _

_ “Get out of my way… you  _ ** _loser_ ** _ .” _

_ I was cold in an instant. I didn’t get the chance to take a step aside before he shoved me away, leaving the bathroom with a slam. I slid down against the wall right next to the door, pulling my knees to my chest to hold tightly. _

_ Rapid knocking on the oaken door to my left began, my only barrier from the harsh lights and noise beyond the dingy bathroom. “Hello? Some of us have to pee!” _

_ I gritted my teeth, forcing out a response I knew would get the girl on the other side to leave. “I’m having my period!” _

_ Sure enough, after a short pause, the girl seemed to understand. “Take your time honey.” I don’t know if she left or if she was waiting, but either way I couldn’t hold the tears back anymore. I buried my face into my knees, and sobbed. _

That all happened about ten minutes ago. My arms were lined with red lines, dug by my own sharp nails. I had torn open a few older scabs, but the black sweater I wore was enough to stop the blood flow before it got serious. Teartracks ran down my face, and breathing was enough of a challenge when I had my binder on and wasn’t having a mental breakdown. Even after I had clawed my way free of the restrictive clothing I had to count my breaths carefully, forcing myself into a state of emptiness.

Breathing exercises had never worked. The only thing to get me to relax quickly was Jeremy, with his stupid rambling I could tune in on and his dumb jokes. It hurt to even think about how  **he** was the reason I was breaking down. How he had called me… 

“A loser…” I scoffed a bit at the word I had used for myself for so long, the word that had been my title! Now it was used against me, by Jeremy. Like he… like he was better than me,  _ like  _ ** _he_ ** _ was never a loser in the first place _ .

I caught a glimpse of myself in the full-body mirror on the wall behind the door, and forced myself to stare. Forced myself to stare at the too-large, too-nerdy, too...too-terrible to ever befriend person in the mirror. The boy who would never  **truly** be a boy; who hid behind slushies and headphones from the world that hated him and pretended everything was okay. That the only things I needed were my best friend, and retro video games.

“Maybe I am a loser…” I rubbed my eyes with my sleeve harshly, trying to bury the tears that were still built up. The pacman tattoo hidden beneath my sweater burned, reminding me once more of what I had lost.

The knocking at the door started again, more and more and more until it was too much.

_ Knock knock knock knock _

They’re gonna start to shout soon.

_ Knock knock knock knock _

“Oh, hell yeah! I… I’ll be out soon!” I barely managed to choke out, standing and stumbling towards the sink in a daze.

_ Knock knock knock knock _

“Fuck… he left me here alone-” I clung to the porcelin sink, barely able to hold my own weight up.

_ Knock knock knock- _

Someone stumbled in the door. I turned quickly, staring at the intruder in shock; mostly wondering how they got in before recalling I hadn’t locked the door once Jeremy left. I had been a bit preoccupied. 

The stranger - a blonde girl in some kind of dog costume - locked the door behind herself - already she has proven smarter than I - before stumbling to the toilet, retchting harshly into the porcelain bowl.

I just watched as the girl cried and vomited and reeked of alcohol for a good 10 seconds before kicking myself into motion. I stumbled over to the girl, instinctively reaching out to hold her hair back. She didn’t seem to notice, puking her guts into the bowl harshly.

“It’s okay,” I croaked out, running my fingers through her hair gently to soothe the sobbing mess. I recognized the girl now as Brooke - Jeremy’s… girlfriend. “Just… get it all out. You’ll feel better after.

The girl sobbed again, heaving the last bit into the toilet before collapsing back against my legs. While still crouching awkwardly over Brooke I shifted her so she could lean against the toilet - just in case - before tearing a plastic solo cup off of my clever disguise, discarded in the bathtub still. I quickly filled the red cup with some cold water from the sink, only letting it get about halfway before I kneeled next to the crying girl. If she was going to spill, I didn’t want it to be a huge mess.

I placed the cup in Brooke’s shaking hands, helping her lift it to her lips and drink. Her makeup was smeared by tears, hair a ratty mess in front, mixed with alcohol and vomit. Gross. I reached for some toilet paper nearby, using it to wipe her face gently. It seemed to help clear some of the mascara and stray vomit from her cheeks, and also led to her opening her crystalline blue eyes to stare at me.

“Mickey?” Brooke’s voice was strained, raspy from the combination of vomiting and crying. Well, at least she kind-of knew my name. “Were you invited to this party?”

“It’s Michael, actually. And no, I wasn’t.” I kept wiping her face and hair with toilet paper, dropping it all into the toilet so neither of us had to see it. With a quick flush, Brooke’s pale face was a lot cleaner - still stained with makeup and mascara, but much better than it was a few minutes ago.

“If you weren’t invited-” She sniffled, rubbing her nose with her furry sleeve “-then how did you get in?”

I gestured to the bathtub. “I wore a really stupid costume with a fish head, and no one gave me a second look. It was surprisingly… easy.”

Brooke giggled a bit, still tipsy from the alcohol she hadn’t vomited up. “Well, I won’t tell Jake. He’s kinda mad at Jeremy and Chloe.”

“Mad at Jeremy?” I found myself caring too much despite the pain it caused to say his name. “What did Jeremy do?”

“He cheated on me,” Brooke scoffed, expression souring quickly. “With Chloe.”

“No,” I gasped, mortified. “What the fuck? He wouldn’t-”

No, I… guess the old Jeremy wouldn’t have had the guts to cheat. But the squip was a bad influence on him. I could see that he wasn’t the same person as before. Him calling me a loser had solidified his change.

“He… wasn’t always like that,” I admitted, leaning back from her. I pulled my knees to my chest, resting my chin in the dip between them. “I swear, he used to be a great person. He was… sweet, and kind, and awkward, and pretty self-conscious.”

“So what happened?” Brooke whispered, looking away from me.

“Honestly, you wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Try me.” Her eyes challenged me, staring directly into my soul. Looking at the blonde, I didn’t see the popular impossible I always had seen. I saw… something else. A spark.

“He took a pill that’s actually a supercomputer from Japan that activates with Mountain Dew and makes you cool, but it actually drives people insane.”

She blinked, slowly. Digested the information.

“Okay.”

I blinked back.

“Okay?”

“Yeah. Okay.” She shook her head. “It’s… you’re right, I don’t really  _ want _ to believe you. But I do.”

“You do?”

“I mean… if you just wanted to fuck with me, I don’t think you’d have helped me a moment ago. And it… kinda makes sense.”

“It  _ does _ ?” I questioned, somewhat amazed.

“I mean, yeah. Why else would he suddenly be doing all the right things to make him popular?” She rolled her eyes. “He also definitely talked to himself a lot. Like, way too much. He’d try and play it off, but I definitely noticed.”

“Oh.” I was a bit taken aback at how easy that was. “Well… I tried to warn him. I mean, this is untested technology… and it ended up in a high school in New Jersey?”

“Right!” Brooke nodded eagerly. “I mean, tech like that has got to be worth billions of dollars! How the hell did he get one?”

“A shady guy in Payless.” I shrugged nonchalantly, dropping my legs into a crossed-position. I was focused on the conversation, using the repetition of events to calm my breathing. 

“A shady guy in Payless?” Brooke repeated curiously. “Did he have sideburns?”

“Massive sideburns. Kinda like Wolverine.”

“Who?”

“Nevermind.” I shook my head. “Wait… you know the guy?”

“Rich does.” Brooke pursed her lips. “Called him his ‘hookup’. I always thought it was a weed hookup.”

I nodded a bit, thinking. “Did any of you ever go to him?”

“Nah.” Brooke giggled a bit. “We had Dustin for that.”

Someone knocked rapidly on the door. “Seriously, some people have to pee!”

“I’m having a mental breakdown, Jenna!” Brooke cried, shrill and teary. I was amazed at how quickly she pulled those tears from somewhere in her.

“Oh. Take your time, Brookie.” Jenna went silent once more. Brooke scrubbed at her eyes, wiping the few tears away. I was just amazed that that worked.

“Sorry,” Brooke sniffled, clearing her face up once more. “We should probably head out of here before Jenna knocks again.”

“Right.” I watched Brooke stand shakily, realizing she was still drunk. “Do you uh… want a ride home?”

“You’re not like, gonna attack me or anything?” Brooke eyed me warily as I joined her in standing. I shot her a small smile, holding my hand out.

“I don’t think you’ll have to worry about that. I’m a good guy… and gay.”

Brooke blinked, processing the confession for a moment. “Oh… okay. Then let’s go!”

Our hands linked, an anchor to keep us together and sane through the madness of the rave outside the safety of the bathroom, and we were off. Our heads stayed down to avoid any unwanted eye contact, our bodies forcing a path to the front door. We were out moments before Rich Goranski began asking for Mountain Dew Red.

~

We ended up sitting in the parking lot of 7-11, in the backseat of my beat-up red PT cruiser, indulging our taste buds on cherry slushies and extremely salty chips. The quiet hum of Marley came from my phone, which rested between us comfortably.

“-So chickens don’t have dicks,” Brooke read from her phone, the glow of google shining on her face in the darkness. “So instead of sticking the pen-pen in the vajayjay-”

“Why the hell did you have to say it like that?” I laughed breathlessly, shaking my head as she continued reading.

“-So they rub their cloacas together.” Brooke scrolled further. “Holy shit they touch butts to have babies.”

“Holy shit.” I moved closer to the blonde, reading the phone upside down. “No fucking way.”

“Yes fucking way!” She squealed, laughing brightly. I really was glad to see her more energetic than before, smile warm and happy.

I liked this side of the popular blonde. I don’t quite remember how we got on the topic of chicken breeding, but now that we were here it was so easy. Talking with Brooke was easy. Distracting.

Sitting in this car right now, time wasn’t real. We didn’t have to think about being the loser and the popular girl. We were Michael and Brooke, two dumb kids with broken hearts ignoring their pain at 3 in the morning. Maybe this is all we would have to be.

It felt nice to have someone understand.


	2. Rich Goranski

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You don’t have to pretend to be asleep anymore Goranski.”
> 
> “Fuck.” I turned to face the injured boy, whose eyes opened to show the darker green shade I had once fallen in love with. Such a contrast from the electric blue of the past two years. “Wait, Headphones kid? What’re you doing here?”
> 
> “Drove Brooke.” I pulled up a chair to the bed so I could sit. “Also, don’t pretend you don’t recognize me Rich.”
> 
> Rich sighed, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Michael. Doesn’t explain why you haven’t left the room yet.”

Monday morning came too fast for me to handle. My alarm was going off, but I didn’t have the energy to reach over and turn the incessant buzzing off. Instead, with my eyes closed, I rewatched the video.

_ Burning. The entire house is burning behind Jenna, who’s frantically explaining that Jake Dillinger ran back inside to get the culprit, Rich, out. As she explained, a window exploded outwards right above the front door, and two bodies flew outside the window. Jake was holding onto someone, but the screams of pain were too much.  _

The video cut out after that, but it was enough. Enough to show that Jake Dillinger’s house was gone, and Rich was the cause of it all. I had been up all night thinking about the fire, knowing that Jeremy’s dads car was long gone by the start. He wasn’t in the fire. He was safe.

Brooke was also safe. I had taken her home that night, dropping her off outside the well-tended two-story house with one light turned on on the porch. It was good to know that Brooke’s parents did care, to an extent. I didn’t know her that well, but I did know she had a lot of family. That she felt invisible. I couldn’t relate.

Like this morning, I walked out of my room and was instantly confronted with notes from my moms. They were both often busy in the daytime, working respectively as a lawyer and a doctor, leaving me to my own. But when they were home, they cared. Truly, they did.

I followed the notes saying neither would be home until about 5, that there was money on the counter for dinner if they did have to stay late, and a bottle of migraine medication sitting out. Right, that was my excuse for hiding in my room all day Sunday. Headache.

I took a couple of the pills, hoping to fight off the problem before it appeared due to my accidental all-nighter. It was better than the nightmares, the screams of loser, the abandonment. I then made myself some coffee, shooting a text to Brooke to ask if she needed a ride.

Yeah, it didn’t seem like our conversation was a one-time thing. Brooke and I had been texting intermittently yesterday, mostly memes sent back and forth to cheer each other up. It was really casual, not forced conversation, and we found it fit.

As I waited for her to reply, I chugged some coffee and got my bag ready for the day. The faded sharpie spelling out ‘Riends’ hurt to see, seeing as I had spent over an hour the previous day scrubbing at the red fabric to get the word away. Jeremy had just bought a new backpack.

My phone pinged with a response from Brooke saying she already had a ride, along with a dark kermit meme. I snorted just a bit, shooting back some stupid emojis before heading out the door.

I finished my coffee on the road, setting the empty cup on the passengers seat. It brushed up against a bag from Spencers, some soft-drink from the 90’s I had picked up right before the Halloween party. The Mountain Dew Red had never seemed like a major deal, since Code Red was a thing now, but this kind of soda was so difficult to come across normally that spending 100$ on two bottles was a steal.

I ignored the bottles in favor of pulling into my parking spot in the student lot, which was continuously riddled with bumps and potholes our school was too cheap to fill, and climbed out of my car. I tugged my white headphones up, hood sliding over those, and blended into the crowd.

It was easy now that there weren’t bullies to seek me out. I could slip around, hidden from the rest of the school by music and my hood, up until lunchtime when I could sneak away from the prison building and get to 7-11. I was planning to go alone, as always, but there was a peppy blonde standing outside my beaten-up cruiser holding a teddy bear and grinning.

“Hey Michael!” Brooke waved happily, shifting the bear to under one arm. I slipped my hood and headphones off fully, ready to engage in conversation with the energetic blonde.

“Hey Brooke. Wassup?” I stopped a foot away from her, glancing between her and my car.

“I was… kinda hoping you’d take me to the hospital for lunch. I wanna visit Rich.” Her bright smile fell just slightly, making me sad as well. “There are too many rumors going around, and I kinda just wanna see him myself. Y’know?”

I considered my options. The hospital really wasn’t far from here, and there was a 7-11 on the way back from the building. 

“Uh… sure. I can bring you there.” I tugged my keys out of my hoodie pocket. “We just can’t be there long.”

“Awesome.” The blonde went right back to being peppy, heading to get in the passenger side of my car. I crawled into the driver's seat, moving the bag of sodas and the mug to the backseat to make space for my friend.

“So how’d you know I was going out for lunch?” I didn’t remember ever mentioning my daily 7-11 trips to the blonde, or to anyone but Jeremy.

“Kind-of a guess?” Brooke hopped up in the passenger seat, buckling herself into the chair. “I mean, you had a lot of empty slushie cups in here on Saturday, so I figured you probably went out. Also, what junior with a car doesn’t go out?”

I mean, fair. 

“So I figured you’d come out to the car at some point before lunch, and decided to meet you here.” Her smile was pretty innocent despite the sneaky shit she had just pulled.

“You’re smarter than you let on,” I pointed my finger at her, smiling just a bit. Just enough that she could see I wasn’t mad or annoyed or anything like that. “Why hide it?”

“No one likes a nerdy girl.” Brooke shrugged, smile falling. “I mean, yeah, I like knowing things and being smart, but if I wanna stay near Chloe’s level I gotta dumb it down a notch.”

Personally, I never saw how someone could give a shit about popularity, or changing yourself for someone else. I was always perfectly content with being myself, 100% of the time. Maybe that’s why Jeremy’s words from Halloween still hurt so much.

“Well, I like the nerdier side of you.” I smiled more at the blonde before turning to maneuver the car out of the parking lot. “Nerds are pretty great.”

“Says the guy who spends all his money on expired soda and retro video games.” Brooke was smiling too, I could see it from the corner of my eye. “But… I might consider it.”

“That’s all I ask.” I pulled the car onto the main road, guiding us to the hospital easily. The path there was familiar to me, and in the time it took for Bohemian Rhapsody to fade in and out of my car we were walking into the white building.

Of course the first person we ran into in the waiting room was my mom, filling out some paperwork behind the desk. At the opening of the door to the main lobby, mom turned and grinned.

“Michael!” She ran out from behind the desk, reaching for my hands. “Why are you here? Are you hurt, sick, breathing too little?”

“Nanay, I’m fine,” I pulled away awkwardly, cheeks flushing at knowing Brooke was watching my mom and I like a hawk. “Not here for me. We’re… actually here for a friend.”

“We?” As nanay looked around, I could tell that she was looking for Jeremy. It took her a moment to lock onto Brooke, and her smile held a hundred different emotions I’m sure she’d express once we were both home. “Oh, who’s your new friend?”

“Brooke Lohst,” The blonde held her hand out to my mom. “It’s my pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Mell.”

“Oh, call me Naomi,” Nanay reached out, using Brooke’s arm to pull the girl into a new hug. Brooke seemed unsure of how to react to the affection, and her surprised face made me laugh.

“Naomi,” Brooke slipped away from the hug, smiling awkwardly. “We’re here to see Rich Goranski. Is he available for visitors?”

“Rich?” Nanay looked at me with  _ those eyes _ . Shit. “Did you two make up, Michael?”

“Not… exactly.” I didn’t want to get into this conversation in front of Brooke. “Brooke’s his friend, and I offered to drive.”

“I see.” Nanay slipped behind the desk, typing away on the computer. “He seems to be out of surgery, but he may be unconscious. I’ll walk you to his room.”

Two nametags later, and Brooke and I were on our way to Rich’s hospital room. I could tell she wasn’t used to the noise of hospitals - the buzz of nurses moving around, the tears and laughs and people milling through the backpaths. I had been in this hospital often as a kid, and was somewhat numbed to the sounds all around.

“Here you are,” Nanay opened the door for us. “I know what time your lunch ends Michael. I expect you to go back to school.”

I snickered a bit, hugging my mom gently. “Of course nanay. Have a good day.”

“You too.” Off my mom went, hurrying to get back to work. Brooke and I watched her go before turning back to the door to Rich’s room.

“Ready?” Brooke looked up at me, holding out a hand. For comfort, I realized. I nodded, taking it quickly and stepping into the room with her.

Rich was unconscious in the bed next to the door. Wrapped up in a full-body cast and hooked up to multiple machines, he just looked… sad. Nothing like I had ever remembered him as.

Brooke tucked the teddy bear in one of Rich’s arms, smiling sadly at him. “Hey Rich,” She spoke, even knowing he wouldn’t answer. “We’re all so glad you’re alive. Hang in there. We miss you.”

No answer. The heart monitor stayed steady, reassuring his life depended on these machines. I had to look away, it was too much. The last time I had willingly been this close to him was freshman year.

Sure, he had looked different when we were freshman. He wore oversized hoodies and a toothy grin, his voice had a lisp, his eyes shone a bright green. I missed the way his voice gave me butterflies in my stomach, his touchy self made me blush and stumble. Jeremy had always teased me about my crush on our other best friend.

I don’t know if Jeremy remembered him the way I did. Rich was a different person back then, with a different name and a different look. Emily Goranski was our player three, excited and happy and one of us. But Rich Goranski was crass, narcissistic, a bully.

Rich came out to us right before he punched Jeremy for the first time. Before he bleached and dyed his hair, before he was sleeping with girls and going to parties three times a week. Before it was a two-player game.

Brooke’s hand reached out, squeezing my hand gently. I smiled at the touch, squeezing back to show my gratitude. She had been a real friend, and I was grateful to have met her.

“I’m gonna run and find a bathroom quick.” Brooke pulled her hand away. “I’ll be right back, and then we can go get lunch.”

“Sounds great.” Brooke left the room, and I didn’t have to turn to the bed to speak. “You don’t have to pretend to be asleep anymore Goranski.”

“Fuck.” I turned to face the injured boy, whose eyes opened to show the darker green shade I had once fallen in love with. Such a contrast from the electric blue of the past two years. “Wait, Headphones kid? What’re you doing here?”

“Drove Brooke.” I pulled up a chair to the bed so I could sit. “Also, don’t pretend you don’t recognize me Rich.”

Rich sighed, rolling his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Michael. Doesn’t explain why you haven’t left the room yet.”

“Well, despite what you seem to think,” I leaned closer to Rich, “I never stopped being your friend. No matter how hard you tried to push me away, I was always gonna be here for you when you needed me.”

“You’re a dumbass.”

I couldn’t stop my smile as his lisp slipped out at the end of his sentence. “Not as much of one as you, Goranski.”

“Tell me about it.” He turned to look at the ceiling. I could see the conflict in his expression, his eyes blinking slowly. “I gave up everything in favor of becoming a wintergreen tictac’s bitch.”

I reached my hand out, gently resting it over Rich’s casted arm. I remembered how hard our freshman year was for him. I remembered the bruises I helped him cover up at 3 in the morning, the times I had snuck to his house to unlock his bedroom window from the outside and get him out. Bullied at school, abused at home… it was no wonder Rich Goranski was so vulnerable.

“Is it… gone?” I was curious as to whether the heat of the fire managed to melt its circuits. If there were any. I wonder how these things really worked.

“No.” He closed his eyes. “The drugs they give me here is making her shut up for a bit, but the only way to get rid of it is some soda that was discontinued in the 90’s.”

“Discontinued soda?” I felt tingles down my spine, a spike of adrenaline that threw a smile on my face. “What kind of discontinued soda?”

“Mountain Dew Red.” Rich didn’t seem to notice my increasing excitement. “Not the code red stuff; we’re talking the original Red.”

“What would you do if I said I had some?”

The gears turned in Rich’s head. His eyes seemed to glow as he looked at me desperately. “Michael fucking Mell, you have some?”

“Got two two-liters the other day for $100. Didn’t know if it was worth the price until now.”

“Oh my god I could kiss you.”

I felt my cheeks heat up just slightly, and glanced at my phone. “Sadly, Brooke and I gotta hurry if we wanna be back at school in time. I’ll… stop by after school?”

“You’re a god Michael!” Rich shouted happily. I stood quickly, slipping out of the room and back into the hallway, ready to look for Brooke.

Only for Brooke to be leaning against the wall across the hall, watching me with a smirk. I could feel the warmth still in my cheeks from my interaction with Rich, and I knew she could see what I was feeling instantly.

I was never going to hear the end of this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to those who left comments on the first part! I'm trying to put a lot of effort into these parts and am making them somewhat realistic, so please bear with the slow uploads!


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